"Live life as though it is written in 'Papyrus' font" -Anonymous
"Assume that every quote attributed to an Anonymous person was actually said by a very drunk Courtney Love. It's funnier that way." -Anonymous
"Having three quotes precede an essay is probably a mistake, and makes authors look more indecisive than profound." -Anonymous
When I was a boy, I wanted to be an astronaut or fireman or something. I don't remember when I lost focus on those dreams – it might have been the day the town's only astronaut and fireman got arrested for touching some kids. Regardless, my thoughts soon drifted to other things, most of them involving candy and video games.
Then, one day, when I was walking home from school, a spirit came to me. His name was Shadix, and he spoke to me about spirit channeling. He said that humans, whether they want to or not, are constantly channeling spirits: When we feel hungry, we are channeling the spirit of a hungry ghost, and when we are sad, we are channeling the spirit of a sad ghost. I could not ignore such sound logic, and began to open my mind to the possibilities of spirits and spiritual guidance.
I began to grow more open, charting my spiritual growth across the months. In fact, in my childhood home I still have markings on one of the kitchen walls showing such growth.
Shadix was eventually arrested for touching a bunch of kids, but I never forgot the advice he gave me advocating spiritualism. To this day, I am a very spiritual person, only ever capturing Ghost Pokémon, eating angel food cake, and reading books with stylized drawings of candles on the cover.
The area that my spiritualism is most evident is in my creativity. You see, eventually, as is expressed in the Life Statement of every personal website ever made, I decided to focus on creativity and to allow myself to be a creative person. My life's goal has been to express myself creatively, which makes me unique, because I have never met another person who prefers to be creative when given the choice.
So that is the person I have become. And I have never once looked back – because, as any spiritual person will tell you, that is how people get turned to salt.
